Destination Addiction is a Thief

"Life will be good once I graduate," I said to myself. Then the night came where I threw my cap down, and toasted to my academic achievements with family and friends. I woke up the next morning with worry and cognac sitting at the pit of my stomach. The relief of getting my degree was washed away with the worry of starting my life. I then began to tell myself I'll be happy once I got a good-paying job. Once I got used to my office chair, that same uneasy feeling crept into my life and it wasn't the burnt coffee this time. It didn't take long for me to feel stagnant and apprehensive about the future again. I was adamant about figuring out my next destination. 

Destination addiction is a preoccupation with the idea that happiness is somewhere else. We're more focused on the "not now" instead of embracing the now. This consistent dissatisfaction robs you of the joy in today because you won't stop focusing on tomorrow. This is more complex than being excited about your future and wanting to reach your full potential. Your journey is important but we must learn to love it even when it's hard instead of waiting to be happy. 

As most of us do, I took the hard parts of my journey for granted. I had an entry-level position in a career I knew I didn't see a future for myself in. Everything in my being told me to quit. Apprehensive out of my mind, I did. I looked for a new job frantically. Sallie Mae was waiting for me at the DOOR! 

I had a lot of moments where the days felt like they were just running together. It felt like nothing was in the works no matter how hard I tried.  It took me months to get to a place where I told myself that I am going to focus on what I can control because spending hours feeling sorry for myself wasn't serving me. I put myself on a routine. I woke up early, worked out, continued my job search, and worked on projects I always told myself I didn't have enough time for in the past. Once I embraced my now, and focused on the pros and ignoring the plethora of cons, my life shifted. The phone started ringing and I landed my big girl job. 

This is where I sound crazy, a few months into my job I started to miss that hard part of my journey where I had all this time to work on the things I loved, like my blog. A time where I wasn't waking up at 5:30 AM to make it downtown on time. 

I spent a lot of time worrying about my next destination, I didn't get to fully enjoy that part of my journey and I missed it when it was gone. Fortunately, I knew what to do this time. I worked hard on the areas of my life I wanted to improve while also stopping to smell the roses, and showing gratitude towards who I was and where I was at the moment. I didn't allow my ambition to rob me this time. I was beginning to understand that you don't have to wait until you achieve everything to love life. Everything happened for me when it was supposed to happen and I was able to appreciate it even more instead of treating it like a level I beat in a video game. 

I had to apply this mentality to my personal life as well. I didn't want to end up with the wrong person again just to be able to say I have someone, I made it! Romance was a destination where I wanted to go like many of us. Sometimes we get so blinded by the destination we ignore the "Wrong Way" signs. I had to have a heart to heart with myself. "Do you want to be a girlfriend more than you want to be appreciated?" I almost got to a point where I cared about being a girlfriend more than being treated the way a girlfriend should be treated because at least I was at my destination. In reality, rushing to your destination isn't always best. Ask my last car. 

In conclusion, you are exactly where you're supposed to be right now and you will get to where you need to go as you continue doing what you're supposed to do. Love every aspect of your life. When you start that beautiful family, you're going to miss those nights you got a full night's rest so enjoy it. When you get promoted, you're going to have moments where you miss having a little less responsibility on your plate. When you start that business, you're going to miss having an 8 hr workday sometimes. Most importantly, when you reach all of your goals, you'll know how to relax and enjoy life without feeling like you need to chase another goal to feel fulfilled. Happiness isn't in one place. You're allowed to be happy throughout the entire ride.