Destination Addiction is a Thief

"Life will be good once I graduate," I said to myself. Then the night came where I threw my cap down, and toasted to my academic achievements with family and friends. I woke up the next morning with worry and cognac sitting at the pit of my stomach. The relief of getting my degree was washed away with the worry of starting my life. I then began to tell myself I'll be happy once I got a good-paying job. Once I got used to my office chair, that same uneasy feeling crept into my life and it wasn't the burnt coffee this time. It didn't take long for me to feel stagnant and apprehensive about the future again. I was adamant about figuring out my next destination. 

25 Lessons I Learned by 25

                               

My journey to 25 has been an intricate, insightful, yet beautiful one. Before it becomes official at midnight, I'd like to share a few tidbits that I've learned along the way.

25.) Relationships Aren't Bandages- When you operate out of a place of desperation you latch onto people who drop feed you what you need: love, validation, appreciation, affection. It is imperative to learn how to become that source for yourself so you won't tie yourself to those who aren't meant for you because they are the only source you are getting those things from. 

24.) Stop Being Easily Impressed- The bare minimum is not luxury. Stop selling yourself short. It's unfortunate if you continue to because you're worth more than you'll ever know. Those who treat you with respect, are consistent and tell you the truth should be appreciated but not put on a pedestal for doing what they are supposed to do. When you put people on a pedestal, you begin to overlook things that shouldn't be ignored. 

You Are Not too Cool to Feel

You play yourself every time you say that you don't care when you really do. You are catching flights and feelings and that's okay. It's so frustrating when people dismiss your feelings so, why in the hell are you doing it to yourself? Contrary to what you may have been told, there is power in vulnerability. Acknowledging that something hurt you isn't weak, it's mature. You can't make anyone be honest with you so at least be honest with yourself. 

Your Year Sucked but Did You Die Though?: The Importance of Keeping a Journal

"Yup, this is the end of the world. There's no getting through this". Well, you've said that before; several times throughout your life actually. Now here you are today, live and in person. You got through it. You may have new obstacles but just like before, you'll get through those too. That's the beautiful thing about having a journal. You can reference some of the darkest times in your life which is concrete evidence that this too shall pass. 

The Chronicles of a Serial Dater

From years of observation, here's what I see when I meet serial daters.... 

What better way to escape myself by getting lost in you?  When you look at me you see beauty, a future, a motivating force to become a better person. How thrilling it is to mean the world to someone as I slowly push away mine. At 2am I can watch the reflection of the moon bounce off my ceiling as I allow my brain to anxiously overthink my existence, or I can just call you. I can listen to you talk about your childhood dog that you still miss, your likes and dislikes, and how you summoned me. You tell me I'm everything that you ever wanted. I laugh to myself as I think about how I spend most of day trying to affirm to myself that I am enough. 

Cancel My Subscription to Your Issues

Some people are just committed to being miserable. I know that was harsh but someone has to say it. Surely you would agree that we all have issues we have to navigate through in life and support is important. Anyhow, needing support isn't the issue. The issue comes into play when you make a habit of dumping your issues on everyone around you whilst actively ignoring the help they give you. The saddest part is a lot of their problems are self-induced. They keep on running to people and situations that they have to heal from and expect you to help them pick up the pieces every time. 

Harsh Truths That You Don't Want to Hear

Yeah, when I said I wanted to go on rollercoasters this summer, I meant Six-Flags, not emotional ones. I think it's safe to say that we all have had a little bit too much time to think. As crazy as it's been, maybe it's for the best. Here are some harsh truths that I, along with many of you had to face. 

No One is Coming to Save You 

It's all on you, homie! People will lend their emotional support but know that it is limited. People have good intentions but they also have their own problems in life to focus on. You have to find your own footing to climb out of that dark hole. No one is going to just pull you out of that job you hate. As much great advice you can collect, no one is going to yank you out of that circle of toxic people. Lastly, no one can heal for you. Your happiness is your responsibility which means, the initiative is yours to take. Don't believe me? Keep waiting. When life hits, it REALLY hits. You'll be okay though. You've been through tough times before. Wipe your face and get started.