How many times have you felt like your cries seem to fall on deaf ears? You repeat yourself so much you would have thought your concerns were a script. You realize that you’ve been fighting for a love that was never even there. The empty little promises of “I’m going to do better” no longer does anything for your heart. The band-aids have lost their stick. You use the little energy you have left to go on your way. You have quite a few nights where you laid in the dark staring at the ceiling, trying to chase sleep. However, you cannot sleep because sleep requires at least a little ounce of peace. Your brain runs until it exhausts itself. Your eyes finally give in. Slowly but surely, each night gets easier. You can finally sleep. Your head rises up a little more each day. Your heart slowly stops wilting like a dying rose. Colors no longer look gray. As soon as you nurse your heart back to health he tries to pull out all the stops because if he lets one more day, hell, even one more hour go by, he’s lost you for good. Everything you’ve been asking for is now available to you before you lock the door that you just closed.
Girl, you were doing so well. However, he is finally becoming the potential that you’ve been begging for him to live up to. Well, at least you thought so. His efforts have an expiration date. As soon as he got you to open back up, he did enough to keep you until he saw you throw the lock away to the door he was once on the other side of. Only a month later, he’s back to the man you were begging him not to be. Lack of consideration, effort, consistency, and passion. This is why you don’t want the man who fights to get you. You want the man who fights to keep you. The man who fights to get you will do just enough to get access to you. He likes the chase and that is it. He treats you as if you’re that class that you just need a C in to be in good standing. He can’t put any more effort into you because then you’ll become a distraction to his bullshit.
However, the man who fights to keep you will never let you slip away in the first place. He doesn’t do enough, he exceeds. He doesn’t fight you, he fights for resolution. He will go through the dirt with you. He won’t drag you through it. You don’t have to ask him to care because he shows you nothing less. It doesn’t take you walking out the door for you to know that he loves you. He doesn’t need a rude awakening. He never slept on you in the first place. Rest assured, I will end up with the man who doesn’t see my value once I am gone, as if I am some Vincent Van Gogh Painting. I will end up with the man who loves me in ways that I couldn’t even conceptualize to even ask for it. That is what I deserve as well as you. Accept nothing less.
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