You Weren’t Dickmatized. You Were Lead On.

If you let some men tell it, they just have this magic stick that makes the girls go crazy. In reality, the only thing magical is those dreams they sell to women. They will promise you tranquility and then look at you crazy for believing them. If you find yourself not at peace, paranoid, and full of anxiety because his actions and his words aren’t concurrent, know that you are not crazy or “dickmatized”. You have been lead on. 

How did you get to this place? First, it started with some observation. Some men seek vulnerability. In the process of “getting to know you,” they are trying to figure out what sets your soul on fire. They want to know what your end goal is. They want to know what dream is on your heart so heavily to where you will do almost anything for it. That is why it is wise not to tell someone what you are looking for in a significant other in the very beginning because they will try to emulate that instead of being who they truly are. If your end goal is to be married with beautiful children, they will dangle that carrot in front of your face. You will be promised marriage so that you will stay. He will put you through hell and back and tell you that if you stick around you are proving to him that you’re solid. If he feels like you are a solid woman and you have been with him through his “growth” he will make you a wife. Well sorry to break it to you (actually I am not) cheating, lying, and sneakiness is not the pillars of manhood. All you are doing is proving that no matter what he puts you through you will stick around because you believe that there’s something at the end for you. Those are the kind of women who put up with bullshit for 9 years only to get fed up and leave, then watch him marry a chick he’s known for a year who doesn’t take any shit. Tragic. 

When you find yourself over-extending yourself, doing things outside of your character like driving past his house and lemonading his car, it is time to sit back and evaluate the relationship. You are not under a spell. You are under manipulation. It is time to get out. God does not place a dream on your heart that you cannot have. You have to know that your dream is not unattainable. It is just not attainable with that person. Learn to walk away completely from things that aren’t meant for you. Your pain through that process does not derive from being dickmatized. It derives from justifiable disappointment, so do not allow anyone to dismiss your feelings by calling you dickmatized. When people lead you on, lead them out of your life. Your dream is not too much for the person for you, it is a predestined honor that they are glad to be a part of.