For my new Roses, “Rose Letters” are confessions submitted to raven@ravenrosado.com and posted here anonymously. Come get some things off of your chest. This is a safe space.
1. It was like the 9th date and I felt comfortable enough to have him over. I decided to cook for him so that we can have a nice, intimate dinner, talk and listen to a nice Neo Soul Playlist because we dig the same music. Anyway, he set the table and I made our plates. I've been sipping on wine all while I was cooking and had to go to the bathroom badly. My bathroom is on the same side of the house as the kitchen so I can hear really good in there. As I'm sitting on the toilet, I hear this man put his fork down and say to himself "This shit nasty as hell." It killed the vibe for me. I wanted to tell him to leave then, but that ain't right. To be petty though, when I got back I asked: "Do you like the food?" He said, "I like you." That made me even madder but kind of relieved that he wasn't a liar.
2. My son doesn’t know when to STFU. I got off the phone this morning to get him ready because I was taking him to meet up with his father’s side of the family at a decent restaurant nearby. His father started hanging with an uncle who runs with the wrong crowd and got caught up in some mess. He’s currently serving a sentence. I make sure that my son still gets to see his grandparents, aunts, and cousins. Well anyway, We get ready to go, and we get to the restaurant. His grandmother says “I really like this place, this is nice” then my rock head son gon say “Mama picked this place because she doesn’t want Y'all in her house. “ I must’ve been talking too loud on the phone and he heard me. I didn’t even react. I just dissolved in my seat. Didn’t know what to do.
3. When I was married I had a 4-year long affair with my boss. My husband was so preoccupied with “keeping his youth”, that he was completely oblivious to my new clothes and lingerie purchases. It finally ended when I took another job... with my bosses wife, who I was also sleeping with.
4. I was at the Doc’s office getting a pap and the Doctor lubricated me and opened me up and the most embarrassing thing EVER happened. I queefed like REALLY loud, right in front of her face. I was soooo embarrassed.
5. I caught my ex-cheating, typical. What REALLY angered me was it was with multiple women and he made them all think that he was madly in love with them. He was also the type of guy to always make it seem like he had more money than what he had. He clearly had insecurities and had something to prove. One day he texted me like 4 paragraphs begging for me back. It messed my head up. Then that night I saw him on snapchat posting this luxury car he rented. Then he posts a video of him at a restaurant that had to be downtown because it looked fancy. I see a woman’s hand in the corner of the video. He posted a few more videos and the menu had distinctive names for their dishes. I googled them and was able to find the name and address of the restaurant. I instantly got on the train and I saw his rented car parked on the street (which I felt was dumb to park there if you’re driving a fancy car). I unscrewed the license plates and I tried to put Pepsi in his gas tank but I couldn’t open it from the outside. I then just poured it on the windshield and put some nail polish I had in my purse on the driver's door of the car. People were watching but minded their business. I didn’t care If I got caught anyway. I was hurt, angry, and fucking tired. I never got caught surprisingly.
6. Not me but I had a friend who used to actually try on the panties when she went to Victoria’s Secret.
7. I went to High School with this guy. He was openly gay before society was more accepting. People talked so much shit behind his back and would passive aggressively bully him. He was confident and stood up for himself regardless. I admired that and made it my mission to treat him with the utmost kindness and respect. Fast forward 6 years later, I bump into him at a party. He remembered me and thanked me for always treating him well. My drunk self-said the dumbest thing. I go “No problem, I’m just surprised the guys didn’t try to fight you back then.” Then he says, “Well when half of the football team is trying to experiment with you, they aren’t going to burn a bridge.” I was like “Excuse me? Details!” Found out he slept with some of the most popular guys, including my Junior Prom Date.
8. I was getting some electric work done in my house and the 2 guys who came out to work on my house were pretty nice until I heard what they were saying to each other. They were speaking in Italian. I speak 5 languages. Italian is my third. The guys asked the older guy who I assume had more authority, how much they should charge me. The guy said, “Look at this neighborhood, charge her an extra $250.” My black ass then replied in Italian, "I am not giving you any more than $200. Take it and get out of my house.” It pays to study other languages.
9. In college, I used to lie on restaurants and say they screwed up my order so that my meal would be free. I stopped doing that though cause karma bit me in the ass in other financial ways.
10. This JUST happened to me. I ordered an Uber to meet up with my friends at the movies. I usually book a regular Uber ride but that Uber pool price was too beautiful. I get in the Uber and a girl is already riding with. She had petty long hair and you can tell it was just really healthy. I complimented her and asked her about her hair then we started talking about beauty stuff and really hit it off. We found out that we were both going to the theatre to see the same movie and even exchanged Instagram pages. As I walk away to go up the stairs and meet my friends, I see my boyfriend walking towards the door. As soon as I was about to yell “Hey you” My new friend plants a kiss right on his lips. I yelled “What the fuck?” super loud. Everyone looks at me, including him. I never saw someone look so shocked in their life.
11. I got really drunk one time and peed in the Uber. The driver got out and tried to fight me. It was a mess.
12. This boy I liked invited me over to play video games with him. We got along really well. His system was set up in the basement and in his house, you have to go through the kitchen to get to the basement. His aunt and his mom were sitting at the kitchen table when we walked in. I spoke and introduced myself like how I was raised to do. As we walk down the basement stairs I hear the aunt ask "Is that his lil girlfriend? "His mom said "I hope not she’s funny lookin’". He obviously heard it too cause when we sat down on the couch, he looked really embarrassed. I was trying not to cry cause It really hurt my feelings because I already had self-esteem issues. We played the game and he invited me back over next weekend but declined. I kept declining his offers. I no longer felt comfortable over there. He stopped inviting me and stopped having conversations with me, he’d only say hi in passing. He thought I didn’t like him anymore. Years later we began talking again and I brought it up. He said it made him really sad because he was building the courage up to ask me to be his girlfriend and he thought I rejected him. Well, we date now and my funny lookin’ ass will be over there for the Holidays so boom.
13. I went over my girl’s house and her family is vegan. Everything tasted like clay. I almost broke up with her at the table.
14. I overheard one of my coworkers talking about how she cooks certain meals in her dishwasher because they “come out better”. So when we had a company potluck, I snuck and threw away the dish that she brought. Not all heroes wear capes.
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