You've been trying to sit down and talk out problems with someone who intentionally created them because it's Sunday and none of their favorite TV shows came on today. This is the kind of person who won't leave their cheating boyfriend because they like having new women to fight with every 3 months. This is the type of person who will throw a fit and deviate from the plans on a girl's night out just because everyone is having too much fun and there's no pending drama waiting to explode so of course, they take on the duty of creating it. These people are angry for no good reason. Everything can be truly going well in their life but something about peace just bores them. I never understood this until I found out about "Anger Junkies". Yes, these are real people who are inherently addicted to being angry. Allow me to explain.
The party initially starts early in the frontal lobe of the brain (emotional control center), when it has not fully developed. During this stage, impulsive thoughts easily override consideration of consequences. It is said that this part of the brain does not develop fully until your mid to late 20s which leaves an ample amount of time to form detrimental habits and addictions. Here's where their addiction comes into play.
Anger addiction begins in the limbic system of the brain. This system also causes the secretion of dopamine (the feel-good hormone) in our brain. The sight of that sexy cashier at Kroger releases dopamine. Banging the sexy cashier at Kroger releases dopamine. Listening to the song that makes you think of that time you banged that sexy cashier at Kroger releases dopamine. Your Anger Junkie friend cursing you out for talking about him on the phone releases dopamine in her brain. This is why they take advantage of all opportunities to get angry and be negative. When that dopamine is chronically being released, you learn to repeat behaviors that will result in releasing it to feel good. That is why you've gone to Kroger this week for the 4th time to buy cheese even though you're vegan and that is why your friend keeps tagging along with you so she can yell at the cashiers for not honoring her expired coupons.
At this point, you are figuring out ways on how to make your angry ass friend feel better. However, her anger is making her feel better, actually great, and that's the problem. It's more science behind anger addiction which is very similar to adrenaline addiction because they are both chasing that rush to get what they need because their brains created a dependency on it. You all can discuss her behavior over coffee, wine, or boxing gloves and it will still be ineffective. This is a cognitive issue, not a personal one so do not feel obligated to assume some sort of responsibility in hopes of moving past Y'all "drama". Anger feels more good to them than peace, friendship, and resolution. The only sit-down that you are required to have is with yourself so that you can truly ask yourself are you willing to accept having a friend who enjoys being pissed as much as you enjoy being plowed by Kroger's finest.
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