I know I am not the only one who has fake left their house before just so someone would go home. Friendship is fun but in doses. It's not personal but entertaining and constantly engaging for a long period of time is just exhausting. 3 hours has passed by and now you are daydreaming about all the "Me time" you've taken for granted whilst they're on their 5th story about why they've stopped eating at buffets. You don't want to hurt their feelings but it's time for them to go. They haven't caught on to your 5th "Whew, I'm tired!" so here are a few things you should try next.
Cut to The Chase
This is my favorite method because being passive-aggressive in these situations can still be ineffective. A lot of people just ignore their guest by completely stop talking in hopes they get the hint. I've tried that and even took a nap before. I woke up and they were still there. That's when I realized that not everyone picks up on social cues. Here's what I do now. I smile and say "Well, I'm going to let you go though because I have so much to catch up on and I'm sure you do too." Then I get up and start walking towards my front door. It's not rude but it also is a little forceful and doesn't give the person much room to negotiate staying. I made it clear that I needed to be alone to catch up on stuff and I even showed consideration for their schedule as well by letting them go tend to whatever they need to do. How can anyone be angry with that?
Start Cleaning
I highly doubt your guests will find entertainment in your vacuuming. They will either leave because they are afraid that you are going to ask them to help, or they are going to get bored because your focus is no longer on them but on the bathtub you're scrubbing. You can also blame not paying attention to your stories due to distraction. This method is how you clean house in more than one way. You'll rid yourself of pest and guest.
Put Them to Work
Give your guest a task. As soon as you ask them "Hey, can you help me clean out my garage?" I bet you that they will try to find ways to tell you that they actually have to go because they have this "thing" they have to do at this "place" they have to go to. Once you make the environment uncomfortable, that's when people will leave. There is nothing chill about cleaning out your dusty garage.
Play Sick
No one wants to listen to someone vomit every 5 minutes. Gross them out. Go into the bathroom and make yourself sound like you're going to hurl your lungs out. Most people will leave to let you "rest".
Many people have weak stomachs and don't want to hear you vomit.
Sound Excited About What You're Going to Do When They Leave
Share with them the future plans that you're so stoked about. For example "I had a long week, I can't wait to relax! Soon as we're done here, I am going to put on a face mask, turn my phone off, make tea, and listen to some records." Sound ecstatic about it. They'll begin to feel as though they're imposing and leave so that you can go have fun since their company isn't fun enough. This approach isn't direct but it is subtle enough to get the job done.
In the future, try to prevent being in this predicament by meeting at a public place or giving them a time limit. Here's an example, "Yes, you can stop by for a couple of hours, I don't have anything to do until 4 pm." That way you can kick them out and they won't think anything of it because they think you had an engagement planned prior to their visit. Hopefully, these tips work for you or you can at least recognize when they are being used on you so that you can leave. Don't be the person who doesn't know how to go home because you may not get invited back over again.
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