After enjoying a relaxing bike ride, you decide to check up on your mom on your way home. You’ve been getting a lot of sun and exercise in, and you’re only 10 lbs away from your weight goal. You are loving every minute of this journey. The best thing to top off the day is a little quality time with your mommy. You walk into her house and in the dining room, you see your mother and her sister seated, with a mug of tea in both of their hands. Your mother raises up from her seat to warmly greet you. Your auntie raises up to greet you as well with "Damn, you get bigger and bigger every time I see you. You better slow down on that sodium! Your Nikes are cute though". You look down at your Apple watch and that 563 calories you burnt today begin to feel like nothing. You've lost 20 lbs but not the excessive criticism and back-handed compliments from your aunt. Your mother jumps to your defense but you can't help to be irritated by the fact that this is always your experience with your aunt and it has gotten old a long time ago. That irritation is all too familiar to those who have jealous family members. Jealous family members express their envy in several ways. Unfortunately, not everyone is going to be happy for you and this is how you move around them.
Never Let Them Know Your Insecurities
If you want to break someone down, first you have to get in their head. That is why jealous family members are the worst people to vent to. They don't want you to surpass them in any area in life so they learn what hurts you so that they can use it later to stop you. Like the aunt I mentioned above, she knew that her niece was trying to lose weight because it was something she was unhappy with. Unbeknownst to her niece, the aunt has a few issues with her body too and has tried everything to lose the weight but no success. The niece has been working hard and dropped most of the weight but the Aunt wants her to believe that she didn't, in hopes that she will get discouraged and go back to her old habits just like how she used to. Auntie used her insecurity against her to try to stop her from achieving what she couldn't.
Protect Your Dreams from These People
There's no greater demotivational speaker than a hater. As soon as you tell them your ideas, they will reply with a list of reasons why it won't work and how you can't do it even if others have successfully done it. Then they will top it off with "I'm your family, I'm just looking out for you." They see your growth as competition. In their mind, the more you rise the more they sink. The thought of you being the successful cousin on holidays burns them up inside. These aren't the people who need to know your dreams. Success can be a lonely, tough road on its own. The last thing you need is the extra negativity and the lack of support from family.
Don't Announce Your Next Move
Some people's jealousy runs so deep enough, they won't even just discourage you, they will try to sabotage you. You're opening a boutique and finally found the perfect spot. You plan to make an offer on Friday. Your envious cousin tells her old entrepreneur friend that she hasn't spoken to in almost 10 years about the place and urges her to make an offer by Wednesday. These are the type of people who are obsessed with your misfortunes. They don't even care if they make it as long as you don't. Keep these people out of the loop. Better yet, distance yourself. You'll be surprised what these sheisty people are capable of.
Keep Your Distance and Make Sure Your Other Family Members Honor That
"Don't go over there and tell my business. If they ask how I'm doing, just say fine." My mother used to tell my brother and I when visiting other family members. We may not have always known the situation but we did know that we had some family members who were A.) Not happy for my mother. B.) Looking to see how they can capitalize off of her blessings. Regardless, we honored my mother's request to not reveal her life to those she chooses not to share with. As I got older and learned about humans and their patterns, I began to request the same thing when it came to certain people. It's not personal, it's peace.
Don't Give Them The Satisfaction
At this point they're desperate. If they can't discourage you, sabotage you, or stop you, they will at least try to piss you off. You may drag your hating cousin up and down the street and they will still get a rise out of it. They may have lost the physical fight but they feel that they've won for interrupting your peace which was the initial goal. The fact that they had the power to take you to such an angry place is so satisfying to them. Not only is your pain their pleasure, they learned what makes you tick and how far they need to go to get you there. They will find a way to use that newfound information against you again. With that being said, let them fade into oblivion. If you're pissed don't go out of your way to make sure they know it. Yes defend yourself, but do it wisely and strategically. The good thing about this is you learned what makes them tick too. Your success. A wise scholar from Houston, Texas once said "Always stay gracious, the best revenge is your paper"
You can pick cherries, you can pick berries, you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your family. That's why sometimes it's harder to get away from them. It is imperative that you set healthy boundaries because blood or not, the peace in your life is your responsibility. With that being said, move strategically and with the best interest for your peace.
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