Some of the most meaningful friendships in my life are with men. These men hold such an endearing place in my heart and there is nothing in that place that is physically attracted to them. Don't get me wrong, they are attractive and any woman would be lucky to have them. However, I genuinely feel like one of the luckiest women in the world to have them solely as my friend. No part of me wants to change that. Sadly, there are a lot of people who have not experienced this kind of friendship. Some think it's impossible and then there are some people who don't know how to interact with the opposite sex without flirting. However, I wish everyone would be receptive to letting someone of the opposite sex into their life, free of sexual interest. These platonic relationships offer such an awarding balance.
"Sometimes we get really depressed but the only way we feel like we're allowed to express that is through anger. So, that's why the fights break out on the basketball court. That's why sometimes we push people away. That's why we would rather smoke than leave the house. Crying feels like something I'm not supposed to really do." That's what one of my male friends expressed to me. We vent to each other often and in the midst of it, I learn so much from the male perspective. He has nothing to lose speaking so candidly with me. He's not trying to impress me. I'm not a date, I am a shoulder. He doesn't have to worry about looking strong in front of me. In romantic relationships, some men fear that showing raw emotions makes them look like less of a man and would send their partner running for the door. He also doesn't feel as comfortable being so vulnerable with his boys either. They joke and call each other "soft" when they begin to show their sensitive side but unfortunately, that results in them closing that part of themselves off. There's something comforting and nurturing about female energy. My friendship provides that outlet and that safe place.
"He's not a good dude at all. Game recognizes game. My boys and I used to be on that same kind of dirt. Want me to tell him to stay away from you?" Here's the balance that I mentioned earlier. There's something nurturing about female energy but there's also something protective about male energy. These men in my life offer protection. We are both protective of each however, this protection feels like what would come from a brother or a father. They have no issue calling out anyone who doesn't have pure intentions with me. They will even fight for me if it came down to it. My friends don't let me walk alone at night, they get the creepy dude at the bar away from me, and they are bluntly honest with me when they feel like I am making harmful decisions or being oblivious to what some men are capable of.
"If you don't learn how to communicate you are going to lose her. It's okay to want space to recharge but if you don't communicate that, she's going to think you're emotionally unavailable. She's not trying to argue, she's just trying to communicate." That's something I had to break down to one of my friends. He lets me in on the mindset of men, and I tell him how we women generally view and process things as well. I've helped my friends understand the women in their lives more, and also encouraged them to get in touch with the side of them that needs to be brought out in order to have a healthy relationship. I tell my friends all the time that if you want to keep her, you have to leave your pride, poor communication, and passive aggressiveness at the door. We don't operate on that. You and your guys can play 2k and get over it but not with your girl. You have to talk things out.
In conclusion, men and woman can have completely platonic friendships. I actually highly encourage them. These friendships broaden your horizon, they are impactful, and they offer such a healthy balance because of our differences. I got to choose my brothers whom I not only love but like. They also have a great choice in women and a few of their girlfriends have become great friends of mine. Contrary to other's beliefs, these friendships are possible and purposeful. Open yourself to them.
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