From years of observation, here's what I see when I meet serial daters....
What better way to escape myself by getting lost in you? When you look at me you see beauty, a future, a motivating force to become a better person. How thrilling it is to mean the world to someone as I slowly push away mine. At 2am I can watch the reflection of the moon bounce off my ceiling as I allow my brain to anxiously overthink my existence, or I can just call you. I can listen to you talk about your childhood dog that you still miss, your likes and dislikes, and how you summoned me. You tell me I'm everything that you ever wanted. I laugh to myself as I think about how I spend most of day trying to affirm to myself that I am enough.
The more you fall forward the more I fall back, You want more of me. More in a way that I don''t know if I even know how to give let alone willing to. It's beyond flattering to see someone fall for you just for being yourself. At the same time it's terrifying. I feel responsible for your heart as I try to figure out my own. You look at me with saucer eyes and the more they grow, the more green the grass starts to grow on the other side. I try to ignore it. Then the more I ignore it, the more I start to notice that your jokes aren't that funny. Your cute laugh, is actually kind of annoying....and when I said I'll cross oceans for you, the hour commute is honestly annoying and beginning to be a bit much. I don't say it but I subtly show it, but you're just too infatuated to see it. As much as I like you, this is all I have for you. Maybe I'm chasing a feeling that I never had. It's that "they're the one" feeling. I heard the world is supposed to stop and all signs are supposed to point to that person. Everyone seems like high potential in the beginning though and it gets real old, real fast.
Sometimes I think I should just stay to myself and just work on self-improvement stuff. I sometimes go through deep isolation. However, it gets lonely and boring. I find myself on one of the 4 dating apps on my phone, or scrolling through social media. Even the people I often overlook look hotter. I tell myself I can balance it all. Yet, the more I have to face myself the more I seek comfort and love in someone else. I do want love and I do want a relationship. Maybe the parts of myself I'm running from is the reason why I can't secure the love I desire.
In conclusion...
Many serial daters date for relief. They do not want to be alone. They seek someone outside of themselves to stroke their ego. They date with the intention to feel good. They seek to be poured into but struggle to pour back into others. They look for people, whether intentionally or not, to save them from themselves. Be weary if you're exhibiting this behavior or date someone who does. If this is you, you'll continue to waste others time along with your own. Also, you are prolonging your healing process. If this seems to be the pattern of someone you are involved with, you may want to exclude yourself from any level of romantic involvement. You'll find yourself constantly over-extending yourself trying to be enough for someone who doesn't know the feeling of being full.
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