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Some people are just committed to being miserable. I know that was harsh but someone has to say it. Surely you would agree that we all have issues we have to navigate through in life and support is important. Anyhow, needing support isn't the issue. The issue comes into play when you make a habit of dumping your issues on everyone around you whilst actively ignoring the help they give you. The saddest part is a lot of their problems are self-induced. They keep on running to people and situations that they have to heal from and expect you to help them pick up the pieces every time. 

It's hard watching someone you care about fighting battles, and it's even more frustrating when the war is with themselves. They're either oblivious to how much negativity they attract or a part of them likes it because they attached it to their identity. They don't know how to have conversations that aren't about them and what they're going through. That's when you have to ask yourself "Am I just listening or am I enabling?" 

I know you feel a little bad watching the phone ring. You don't want to hear them complain about their relationship for the 43rd time today just for them to cry and stay. You're not in a space to hear them complain about their job anymore. You sent them resources to plan their exit and they still haven't made a move. They're obviously not fed up enough, but you are. You feel like all you have to do is just listen but it does get draining. Also, you have the responsibility of controlling the energy of your day. When you hear nothing but negativity, it starts to impact you. 

Normalize saying "I'm sorry, I'm not in a mental space to talk right now." It's okay to say "I know you're asking for my help again but I would rather keep my advice to myself if you aren't going to ever be receptive to it." Honestly, you don't even need an explanation. It's okay to be busy. You can be busy with what's going on in your life, or busy doing nothing, just be too busy to not help those who don't want to help themselves. You may actually be doing them a favor, allowing them time to sit with themselves and their thoughts. They may come into the realization they need. Quiet time is vital for that. 

To summarize, learn how to detach (You read that, empaths?). You are not obligated to help anyone walk through every single problem. That's insanity. You need a balance. Be a supportive loved one while also not allowing anyone to develop a codependency on you. Speak up when it gets excessive. It's not rude to protect your peace and also bringing this important issue to this person's attention. part of being supportive is being honest.