Signs That He's Wasting Your Time

The world can suck sometimes. One of the things that sucks about it is that not everyone can or is willing to reciprocate your energy. You may have once believed or still believe that if you just stick around, prove how great you are, and how beneficial you are to someone’s happiness, they will eventually come around and be on the same page. Unfortunately, this isn’t an audition. So don’t let anyone play you into thinking that  what you have to offer or who you are now, is not worthy of commitment. They are wasting your time. Here are a few signs that are clear indications of that. 

7. The Communication Sucks 

You may think that they’re a bad texter because they are “Wyd”’ you to death. There is no depth in the conversation. It actually feels like pulling teeth to get them to have a real conversation with you. Texting is just a bunch of “checking in” with you.  The phone calls aren’t any better(if they even call you at all). The conversations are brief, lack substance and “I’ll call you back” is really a translation for “talk to you in a few days or whenever I feel like it”. Inconsistency is a major red flag. You don’t have to beg someone who is really interested in you to give you constant communication. I don’t care what the excuse is. Someone who really likes you can’t wait to talk to you. It brightens their day.  

6. Their Touch is Only Sensual 

When you truly care about a person and have genuine feelings for them, you can’t help but to just place your hand on their knee, or kiss them on the forehead, or push their hair behind their ear. They are just so precious to you. However, a person who has no intention on falling for you, only touches you in a sexual way. They don’t hold your hand, they don’t kiss your cheek. However, when Netflix is cued up, that’s when they get touchy-feely. They only touch you when they want sex. 

5. They Are Ghost on Your Social Media 

I know this may sound shallow to some but look. If someone comments on other people’s post, post updates on everything including their lunch or cool new vacuum, follows people they don’t even know and interacts with them, it’s pretty suspicious why they can’t even interact with you online. Social media has become a pretty big part of social life whether we like to admit it or not. If we know what you have for breakfast every morning, daily routine, and who you hang with just by social media alone, it should be no big deal for your followers to know that the special person in your life exist. Typically when someone doesn’t acknowledge you online and leaves no trace of communication, it’s because they are protecting someone else's feelings. 

4.  They Don’t Make Time For You

Are you always initiating the hang out’s? If they do spend time with you, at what time of the day? What do the two of you do? Those are important things to consider. People plan dates to bond and maintain that bond. If the two of you don’t go on dates but they have no problem going out with friends, that isn’t good. If your time spent together is pretty much a sex routine, then there’s a clear sign of where their intentions are at. I know you want more but if they aren’t offering more, that is a reflection on how they feel. The dates and quality time spent comes organically from a person who is really into you and not just trying to “get into you” if you catch my drift.

3. They Are Always Raising The Bar 

They get your hopes up for something that they will never deliver on. It’s almost like you’re playing a video game. There’s always some level to beat with the promise of this big victory after completing every level. You may ask questions like “What are we working towards still?” or “It’s been a while now, when are we going to be official?”. They reply with some task you have to do for example “I want to wait until you finish school, I don’t want to be a distraction” or “I want to make sure that you are sure. I don’t feel like you’re sure, we have to see.” There’s always some task that they claim needs to be done then when you complete it, there’s a new one. You then find yourself trying to prove to them that the time to be together is now and that you all will be great NOW. Fortunately (even though you think it’s unfortunate), “Now” never comes. They aren’t going to commit to you. They just do enough and give you just the right amount of hope to maintain access to you. 

2. You Are Always Giving Them Chances

You don’t need to keep giving anyone chances to be good to you. Someone who cares about you will treat you properly without you having to beg. Stop asking people to treat you right, they know right from wrong. They aren’t oblivious whether they pretend to be or not. Someone who wants you is going to treat you like it. If you keep telling someone what you want and then they finally do it, it won’t be coming from a genuine place. As mentioned, they will do enough to keep the access they want to you. 

1.    You Keep Making Excuses For Them 

You are always trying to find explanations for why they are the way that they are to you. “He’s really busy and is always tired” or “He doesn’t open up easily, I have to prove that he can trust me with his feelings” or “He cares, he’s just scared of commitment”. Sometimes you even start to blame and over analyze yourself. Well, I’m sorry that every Goldfish John owned died on him and that he didn’t get enough hugs as a child. That has nothing to do with him opening your heart up, just to walk in and out of it as he pleases. Also, do not even think about taking accountability for his shortcomings. He is the way he is because he’s just not that into you or is simply emotionally unavailable. That is not your problem to solve and you cannot Sherlock your way out of this one. The healthiest thing to do with your life is to move on so that you are not on reserve for someone who doesn’t see your value. While you’re wasting your time on dead Goldfish dude, there is a man who is going to run to his phone when he hears it rings because he thinks it’s you. He is going to stare into your eyes and think about how he never wants to forget what they look like. He is going to be an open book and wants to know any and everything about you. When he posts his breakfast on Instagram, he’s going to post yours too. He is proud and utterly excited to be in your life. So in conclusion, don’t let anyone waste your time and don’t allow anyone else to waste it moving forward.