Casual sex is all fun and games until you're drinking Whiskey in the shower, crying and screaming the lyrics to "Ain't No Way" because your romantic feelings aren't being reciprocated. Before you flop face-down into the nocturnal hole of Unrequited love, here are some things you need to consider PRIOR to involving yourself in a friendship with benefits. If you feel your feelings creeping into the friendship, reference this article again to remind yourself what y'all have.
Do NOT Enter The Friendship With The Intentions of Making It More Than What It Is
This is a very common mistake most people in these friendships make. They agree to be friends with benefits in hopes that the other person is going to eventually fall for them too. Not only is it manipulative to initially agree to something because you have underlying motives, it mostly ends up screwing you in the end (not in a good way, ya know, the way y'all originally agreed on). Be honest with yourself and the other party. Do you have more than a sexual attraction to this person, even just a tiny bit? Honor that feeling and don't sell your feelings short by agreeing to something that isn't enough for you.
Note That This Person Does Not Owe You Anything but Safe and Respectful Sex
Who's that commenting heart eyes under their picture? None of your damn business. Y'all are both able to date who you want to, go where you want to, and do what you want to. You all do not owe each other an explanation, romance, or any of the fundamental things of a romantic relationship. Just because you choose not to be with anyone else doesn't mean they are obligated to do the same. The only thing they owe you is a clean STD test and respect for your boundaries and vice-versa.
You Can Get Cut Off at Anytime
Mind you, this relationship is a physical one. Shall the other person meet someone else and wants an exclusive relationship with their new-found love, you are liable to get cut off. Being in a relationship and smashing your friend with benefits on the side or even introducing the friend you've been sleeping with to the person you're in a relationship with, would be horrific. If your bed-buddy respects the relationship they're in, know that what you two have will come to an end and you will have to be okay with that.
If One of You Begin to Develop Feelings and The Feelings Aren't Mutual, You Must End It
You can't help who you fall for sometimes. If you were genuine when initially agreeing to the friendship, I understand. It happens. However, stop it before it gets too deep. If one day you wake up and decide you want more, don't put that pressure on the other person to feel what you feel. Remind yourself what it is and end what you have before it becomes chaotic. There's someone out there who will give you more, it's just not them. Don't put yourself through the emotional torment of one-sided love.
Casual sex tends to leave a lot of loose ends in my opinion. However, there are some people who only seek those kinds of friendships for various reasons. Just be honest about it and make sure your actions and thoughts are aligned with what the two of you actually have. If you agree to be friends with benefits, don't blur the lines by doing relationship kind of stuff. Don't be confusing, throwing around mixed signals. Be authentic to what you two are to each other, friends with benefits.
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