I Believe I Can Lie: When A Narcissist Implodes

The textbook narcissism we’ve witnessed on CBS This Morning with Gayle King and Grammy Nominated “I Believe I Can Lie” I mean Fly, artist, Robert Kelly, is all too familiar to those who’ve dealt with a narcissist in their lives. This interview is also the ideal scenario of what happens when you catch a narcissist in a lie. Here are the patterns of how a narcissist reacts when their jig is up.  

They Partially Tell The Truth to Make Their Lies Sound Convincing

Narcissist cannot accept criticism, ridicule, and most of all accountability. Instead of reflecting in silence, they drop a 19-minute song called “I Admit” which fully admits to nothing but 19-minutes of gaslighting. They will also bring up the past times where they’ve gotten away with their toxic behavior as if that indicates innocence. “I beat my case” is not synonymous with “I’ve never committed those crimes.” One of the jurors admitted to deeming Kelly innocent solely because he did not like the way the girl looked and dressed. Our flawed justice system fails people every day which is why he beat his case. He is not a victim of our flawed justice system. He is someone who benefited from it for decades. 

They Play the Victim 

Despite all the trauma, pain, and damage they’ve caused, the fault will still be someone else’s other than theirs. Narcissist, like Kelly, will blame their upbringing, their “big forgiving heart” that supposedly put them in this position, and erect a conspiracy theory that someone is out to get them. Narcissist challenge reality. However, the fact remains that the abuse you've been through does not justify nor vindicate you from the abuse you have inflicted onto others. It was not your big, forgiving heart that married a 15-year-old girl and urinated on another 14-year old girl on multiple tapes. It was not your big heart that locked your wife up and told her when she can eat, drink, and speak. It was not your big old heart that isolated girls, and imprisoned them physically and mentally. It was not your big old heart that resulted in you being estranged from your children for years. That was not a big heart, that was a cold one. Lastly, there are many black, wealthy, and rich artist with more power, more accolades, and more fame who are unproblematic and don’t have decades of sick evidence stacked against them. 

They Display False Concern In Order to Deflect 

R.Kelly states that there are actual girls out there who’ve been abducted, raped, and abused and pretends to care about their cases. He is trying to appear humane now that his inhumane behavior is on the forefront. He has not advocated for the safety of women in his 30-year career until now. He is trying to take the attention off of him whilst disregarding his victims actually being victims. He then goes on to blame their parents saying they used him. Their parents agreed to a mentor, not a master. Lastly, he brings up his kids that he has not spoken to nor reached out to in years. He had no communication or concern about them when he was relaxing in bars and smoking cigars. He did not formulate one text while he was camping at McDonalds' around the country. Instead of picking up his children to go to the mall, he went to the mall to pick up other people's children. Now that the world’s eyes are on him, he wants us to see him as a father fighting to stay in his kids lives that he walked out of unaided, years ago. He is trying to gain sympathy and pull at our heart-strings. This is manipulative, egomaniacal, and insulting to his healing children. 

They Rage 

Lastly, they rage. When you aren’t buying what they are selling, they jump up on their feet and throw a tantrum, demanding to be trusted. It finally registered in their mind that they no longer have control over your perception of them. In their mind, yelling either makes their point stronger or it at least distracts from the real questions being asked. A hit dog will holler. Narcissistic rage is like no other. They don’t care what gets destroyed as long as it just isn’t them. Their desperation is alarming. Their defensiveness is concrete at this point, they are willing to deflect to the death. 

Everything from his body language, to his answers in the interview, is a dead giveaway that he is emphatically guilty. We see it and he knows it which is why the Narcissist imploded. Lawyers around the world are cringing, and psychology professors around the world are saving this interview for their next lesson plan. We were able to see the perfect example of what it looks when a narcissist has been exposed.