Try New Things Except for Me: Standing Up for Myself

There’s a thin line between taking the higher road and being passive-aggressive. In the journey of not trying to go to jail, I’ve struggled with that balance. Fortunately, I’ve learned being the bigger person does not mean I have to be a doormat. I’ve mastered the art of eloquently putting someone in their place and also differentiating between which battles are worth fighting, or just letting them fade away into oblivion. I do this by briefly asking myself a few questions.

Sit Down Somewhere: Stop Feeling Guilty for Relaxing

I’m talking to you but I’m also talking to myself. If you’re like me, you visualize all these things that you can accomplish. Your goals leave butterflies in the bottom of your belly every day. You hear about all these successful people working like 7 jobs, getting up at 4 am to work on their goals, and eating beans for dinner every night to fund their dream. That’s why you feel like you’re not doing enough because you wake up at 6 am and sometimes on your free time,  you like to watch a show or two and talk on the phone with a friend. Last Saturday, after a long week, you decided to put on your fluffy robe and relax. Then when you laid down to go to sleep that night, you felt guilty for not working on your business plan because you decided to have some “me” time. You feel like all the motivational speakers you listen to are side-eyeing you. I’m here to tell you that they’re not, so you can stop taking yourself to task.

"Alexa! Play No Scrubs!" : Dating Deal Breakers

Dating can feel like a long series of never-ending interviews. However, you will cut your time down significantly by knowing what you will and will NOT put up with. Here are some of my personal deal breakers. 

Poor Hygiene 

Imagine sitting around the table while everyone is looking and sniffing around, trying to figure out where that spoiled broccoli in a hot garbage bag smell is coming from, and it turns out that bag of funk is your boyfriend. Absolutely not. I will not deal. If your breath is always the first thing to approach me when you come towards me, we can end it right here. If my eyebrows are in jeopardy when I lay on your chest because you and deodorant haven’t met yet, we can stop this now. Let the record show, I am not a shallow person. However, we have to draw the line somewhere and hygiene is that location. 

Disrespectful Towards Women 

Only being respectful towards women you’re attracted to is not respecting women. Men who are always making jokes at women’s expense, slut-shame, body shame, have colorist views, victim shame, are rape-apologist, and think derogatory terms are synonymous with the word “woman” are a “NO” for me. Not only do I not want to hear you speak, I could not imagine having a son in the future and him being raised by a “man” like that. I will not have it. 

Things I’m Going to Do When I Become Rich

Brush My Teeth With Perrier 

Stop judging me. I need to do one thing to stunt and establish my new status because I sure ain’t going to be buying any designer brands that  do not want me or people of my likeness’ business. 

The Table He Wants You to Bring Everything To

Above is the table he insists you bring everything to. In order to have a seat at this “table”, you must fulfill the following prerequisites. 

Unwinding Before Bed: A Nightly Routine for Quality Sleep

After a long day of the world demanding your time and energy, it is time to give yourself the same. Adapting these things into my nightly routine has improved my rest drastically. Unwind before bed by doing some of these things to induce quality sleep. I want you to be well-rested too. 

Light a Scented Candle 

The scent of Pink Petal Tea Cake filling the room as I prepare for a good night's sleep, makes all the difference in the world. The scent is euphoric and puts me in a calm state. 

I Don't Feel Like Doing It but I'm Going to Do It Anyway

Let me share with you the horse pill I choked and cried to swallow down most of my adult life. The more I procrastinate, the longer I delay living the life I am supposed to have. When I had a long list of things I had to do, I'll write them down and then cut on Netflix. Here's the fun part, after 3 seasons in on a series I just had to start, I'd break down and rush to get done the things that I could've gotten done hours ago. Talk about self-sabotage, right? Then I realized why I was being a pizza eating, flick watching, sexy, sarcastic, procrastinator. I was scared. 

They Can’t See Your Vision Because It’s Not Theirs to See: Go for It Anyway

Half the acceptance speeches you hear at award shows are from winners who family tried to convince them to go into something “more promising”. The sad reality of it is they only heard “I always knew she was going to be someone special” once they finally achieved their success. If the confidence you have in your dream is contingent on the approval of other people, you are in for a world of hurt. You have to declare yourself a winner first before anyone else.