Am I Intimidating or Are You Just Intimidated?

When you have a sense of self and you are walking in your purpose, there is just something about you that makes people want to knock you down a few notches. Your anointing annoys people. I remember my sophomore year of high school, I was bringing home 4.0 report cards, getting involved in programs that interested me, and getting into some modeling opportunities. I was happy with myself and the direction my life was going, and it showed. For a few weeks, this girl in my English class could not let a day go by without telling me “You walk funny.” I asked her “How so?”. She curled up her top lip and looked me up and down and said: “I don’t know, you just do.” I told her that maybe she should watch her grades as hard as she watches me and continued on with my day. Weeks went by and I can hear her giggling to her fellow edgeless friends that I walked funny. I didn’t let it bother me but after awhile, I grew a little curious as to what she was talking about. 

How to Elevate Your Life During Your Commute

My goals were demanding my attention but so was my 40 hour a week job. For a little while, I neglected the things my heart was begging me to do because I was prioritizing my day job. Fortunately,  wisdom kicked in. Instead of giving the majority of myself to my vocation, I incorporate my work days into what I needed to do for myself. My commute is apart of my day besides lunch, that isn't on the clock. I drive 15 minutes to the train station and ride about an hour on the train to go to work. I do it all again when it's time to leave. Instead of just driving in silence or just scrolling through Twitter on the train, I started to make my commute purposeful.  Success is merely a build up of efforts you put towards your main goal. This is how I spend my commute. 

Inspiration to the Station 

Every morning I listen to an inspirational speech or story during my drive to the train station. It is dark, cold, and early when I leave out for work. It's so easy to feel gloomy. However, hearing how capable I am of having a great day, and how my efforts are worth it, gets me in a positive mood when I walk into the office. I go into work pumped up and determined to be prolific. I start my day off with the right words and the right mindset. This has noticeably shifted my life. I attract more positivity and abundance because my mind is programmed in it.  A few of my favorite apps to listen through is Peptalk Motivation, Sanity & Self, I listen to a lot of Les Brown and Lisa Nichols on YouTube, and Fearless Motivation on Apple Music.  

Blood May Be Thicker than Water but not My Peace: Cutting Off Toxic Family Members

People look at you like a double-headed dragon when you tell them that you cut off a family member or your family in general. This comes as no surprise because society has always conditioned us to never "give up" on your family. Always put "family first". Although your reasoning for creating distance is warranted, you're still looked at as a pariah if you decide to do away with your blood. This conditioning has caused a lot of mental, emotional, and even physical trauma. I remember rushing to the Emergency Room straight out of the shower to tend to my mother because the stress of a family member sent her into a panic attack, which in first we thought was a heart attack. 

Have a Good Day or Don't, Whatever.

I know for a fact that I am not the only one who knows a few people who are committed to being miserable. I'm not talking about your aunt who struggles with mental illness or your cousin who is fighting through unforeseen circumstances. I am talking about that friend whose problems are always self-induced. As soon as the phone rings and you see their name across your screen, you already know that this is a conversation you're going to have to play therapist during (that's if you pick up). If you are an empath like me, or simply just a supportive friend, people like them are the first ones to reach out to people like you. 

Everything you say After “I am” is Who You Will Become: Morning Affirmations

Words are transformative. That’s why you’re told to be careful what you say because you just might get it. “Death and life are in the power of the tongue; And they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.” Proverbs 18: 21. I don’t know about you, but I only wish to manifest prosperity and joy into my life. I refuse to believe the lies of anxiety and enemies. Apart from visualization is confessing what you want with your mouth. Every morning I claim who I want to be and what I want to attract. Here are a few affirmations to place on your ceiling, or in front of your bed so that you can say them as soon as you wake up.

Not All Criticism Is Constructive: People Who Are Celebrating You vs Hating On You

“I’m just keeping it real” is probably one of the most common phrases people use to justify their invective energy towards you. Be wary of that. Of course, you want family and friends around you who are honest with you and tell you what you need to hear. However, there is a difference between being honest with someone and breaking someone’s spirit. Tough love is not synonymous with abuse. It is important to know who is trying to hold the mirror up to you so that you can know better and do better. It is even more important to know who is in your circle that is trying to make you feel like less than what you are and control you. Behind a lot of “I don’t sugar coat sh*t” people are underlying insecurities that they are ready to project upon you. Listed below are some feelings along with actions to pay close attention to. You have enough to persevere through in life. You don’t need nor can afford detrimental relationships, even if it’s family. 

I'm Not Even Mad I'm Just Done

At some point, you get tired of "talking things out" and constantly explaining your boundaries and what you will and will not tolerate. I had a friend who would be thoroughly shocked if you told her that the sun did not rise and shine on her ass. She was one of those people who expect you to drop whatever you're doing and tend to her as soon as she calls. If you didn't, you were an unsupportive friend. When you did come over her house to drink wine with her and listen to all her problems, she would chastise you for not doing it more often instead of just enjoying the moment. It was like damn if you do, damn if you don't.

Short Story Sunday: The Date From Hell

The lights were dim and the soft light from the candle placed in the middle of the table gently highlighted his face like a filter. The view of him picking his teeth with his butter knife was perfect. Actually, it was disturbing but I was trying to make the best of this because I already put on pants to come here. He proceeded to tell me the difference between men and women. According to him, we are these emotional, fragile, creatures. Then he followed up with a story about how he flipped out on a chick for calling him “medium-height” (the irony). He then proceeded to tell me what he looks for in a woman and what a woman’s job entails. Equal rights was a dumb concept to him until the check came. “It’s the first date so I’ll pick it up but if we’re going to be equal up in here, that includes equally going half on these expensive ass dates.” Wow, the check was $47 but go off then. He then asks the waiter for another to-go container. “I’m still hungry but I can eat the rest at your place.” he says in between his teeth sucking. At that point, I knew there was no positive outcome with this. The free meal didn’t even make it worth it. I told him that I was going to go to the bathroom. When I said bathroom, I meant Uber. I’ll be damned if he even sets one ashy foot into my house. The bathroom is right by the entrance. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was strategically placed there. I make a run for it. 

It's Good to Get Angry: How Anger Accelerated My Growth

I had every right to be pissed but what I did about it was my responsibility. I was over the little fortune cookies and speeches that told me that anger was a waste of time and that “allowing” other people to “make me angry” was a sign of weakness. Well,, forgive me Sensei for not smiling through getting lied to and manipulated. How dare I frown upon that regardless of my degree and years of experience, my company did appreciate my value. You’re damn right I’m pissed that I had to get into debt first in order to start my life and get an education. My bad for also being frustrated with friendships that took more than they gave. I am not weak. I am human. Anger is a natural emotion as well as any other emotion. My favorite quote from one of my favorite books “The Subtle Are of Not Giving A Fuck” by Mark Manson is “Negative emotions are a call to action. When you feel them, you’re supposed to do something. Positive emotions, on the other hand, are rewards for taking the proper action.”  Negative emotions at this point was an understatement. I was pissed off to the highest level of pisstivity. At that point, I was angry enough to promise myself that the current state of my life will never be my life again. I am going to do something today, even if I have to die 1,000 times to find my peace. My anger became a motivator. I wrote down everything on my list that was inconveniencing my peace and tackled each, one by one.

Your Mind Needs Rest Too: Affirmations to Say Before Bed

There have been nights where your body has gone to sleep but not your mind. During the day you carry through your woes, obstacles, highs, and lows. That takes a lot of energy. in order to function,  you must recharge which is why your nightly rest is vital. Here are some things to speak out into the atmosphere so that you can manifest serenity and peaceful sleep into your life. 

Nightly Affirmations:

1. I release all of today's negativity 

I Promise You That I Don’t Want A Promise Ring

It’s the third glass of champagne and dessert is on the way. As your crème brulee is approaching the table, you see that it is garnished with something shiny on top. That shiny garnishment is a ring. Tears begin to fill your eyes. He reaches for your hands and says “I promise to stay faithful, love, and cherish you.” Your breath begins to feel heavy and it feels like it’s just the two of you. “I promise to be there when you need me and I promise you my full support. Will you accept this promise ring?” You watch him place the promise ring on your 26-year-old finger. You begin to feel guilty for being disappointed. Well, let me tell you, girl. I understand.